This Just In…Casino Coming to Fall River

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Foxwoods has purchased 30 acres of land in Fall River to for Casino

This is good and bad news. Good news being its gonna be awesome having a gigantic casino 10 min away from home. I can see it now. Laughing, drinking, winning money, having tons of fun. Can’t wait for that. Now for the bad news…I will literally go broke within the first 36 hours of the grand opening. No question about it. I’ll go up 50 bucks, lose it, try and win it back, lose that money, make one big bet to try and get even, win that, make more big bets, lose them, bet all my money to get even again, lose it, attempt suicide, etc…All the fun stuff is short term. My future in 5 years is broke, homeless, addicted to crack and prostituting my body for money. Thanks a lot Foxwoods.

Nice knowing you bank account. You’ve been great to me and all but I just don’t see how its possible for our relationship to continue after this.


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