The folks of South Bend, Indiana are scratching their heads after reports came out this week of a bizarre break-in of a downtown massage therapy business. It would seem that a 19-year-old Notre Dame student made a hole in the side of the business, squeezed inside, destroyed items throughout the building, and then proceeded to heat up some Hot Pockets and macaroni and cheese before passing out. As WSBT Channel 22 News reports, the whole incident caused thousands of dollars in damage.
There’s a lot I could say about this guy. I could say it probably wasn’t a good idea to break into a massage parlor to vandalize the entire place. I could go on to say that passing out at the scene of the crime wasn’t the smartest maneuver either. Its easy to bash on this guy, but anyone who puts aside the act of committing a serious felony, to fulfill their drunken hunger, is alright in my book. We all crave food when were drunk. For me, I am willing to walk miles in the rain to Via Via in downtown Newport to get a slice of buffalo chicken pizza. It doesn’t matter what Im doing. Someone could be drowning and I will put that aside for Via Via. All food is good drunk. Good food is amazing drunk. This guy had hot pockets which is top of the line drunk food. They’re easy to make and fill you up. When your drunken hunger is satisfied, its only natural for the human body to just shut down. If I was this guys shoes the exact same thing would of happened to me. You don’t just drunkenly eat bomb food, and not get the urge to pass out after. Its just the way science works. So don’t hate on this guy for being the worst criminal ever, he is simply a victim of the drunk-munchies.